Wednesday, December 9, 2015

The journey








It had been a while. A very tiring journey. The journey to look for myself.

I used to read that someone used to spent 5 long dragging years to look for herself.

When I first read that I was like

 "Why that prettyyyy long. and why would you waste so much time on it??"

But surprisingly I just discovered that I had spent 7 years for that purpose.

Sounds so wasteful of time right.



For me, Im always impressed with a person that was born with good attitude, people like them, they are everybody's favourite person. But somehow, things does not goes that way with me.

My jokes are harsh, people don't like me, I don't have appropriate common sense, I can't juggle my time nicely .


By the past 7 years, I had been working on it. Very hard. 

But somehow, Allah had enlighten me Alhamdulillah.




It had been a long journey of 7 years and I don't regret every single of it. A journey to look for my inner me. 



And Im feeling thankful to God for giving me a chance for it.


I know, nobody will understand this, but nobody's reading it. So I'm okay with it. 

Mihihihi.


Have nice days peeps and keep me in your prayers 

:)




















Tuesday, February 24, 2015

paradoks






"Hampa taw dak maksud paradoks tu apa?"

"Tat taaawwww Cikguuu"

Jawab kami beramai-ramai dalam kelas. Apalah sangat budak Tingkatan 3 tahu.


Dan setelah bertahun, kini saya faham apa erti paradoks. 

2 sahabat saya. 

Seorang selamat melahirkan bayi syurga.

Seorang selamat meahirkan bayi lelaki hari ini.

Moga Allah kurniakan kekuatan buat mereka berdua.






Thursday, January 1, 2015

Unsang Heroes

We have a lot of unsung heroes. But somehow people always notice the sung heroes. 


So have wider eyes.







Thats my post for 2015. 


We'll be blogging back in sha Allah.

As too little space on IG. Meh. 





which am pretty sure nobody will notice. hiks. 





Saturday, June 1, 2013

Aku dekat


Tahun 3.


Tahun ini hidup serba tak keruan. Hidup di bawa angin. Umpama layang-layang. Angin ke kiri aku ke kiri angin ke kanan aku ke kanan. Penat hidup sebegini, hidup tak punya arah.


Terasa kadang mahu putus asa. Mahu putus asa dengan diri sendiri pemilik dosa. Jikalau bukan kerna rahmat Tuhan aku bernafas.


Nafas umpama robot, tak punya jiwa. Ke mana jiwa pergi aku tak pasti.


Sudah aku katakan hidup ini susah. Kalian makhluk sperm dan ovum tak mahu percaya. Lagi sembilan bulan kalian nilai sendiri. Hidup ini susah. Susah bila kau hilang jiwa.



Aku belek-belek buku berjudul 'Khusyuk'. Harga tak mahal 3 JD, sekali buat bisnes syawarma boleh cover dua puluh naskah. Tak seperti buku gah lain yang selalu ku punya. Harga kadang cecah harga siling, tajuk mahu gempak. Palestin! Dakwah! Tarbiyah!


Tapi buku nipis ini menjentik hati. Hati memberontak mahu beli. Seumpama ada kuasa elektrik.


Aku penat dengan dunia. Kadang-kadang buat aku mengah. Kadang-kadang buat aku mahu menangis. Tapi bila kulihat pak cik tua menolak bakul mencari secebis harapan di celahan tong besar, aku arah 'Mata kau berhenti nangis sebelum aku tumbuk kau. Otak sekali lagi kau sebut putus asa aku sambung kau dengan wayar elektrik'



Buku ini umpama ingin ingatkan aku, "Kau penat cakap degang-degang, otak solat sampai ke Pendang tak payah sembang kencang"

2 3 helai aku belek. Ahh tersentuh. Ku tutup semula. Aku mula menaip entri blog.

Begitulah hidup pendakwah zaman moden, touching sikit semua mahu di Instag, semua mahu di Facebook semua mahu di Twitter. Kononnya, aku kongsikan walau sepotong ayat. Konon!

Hati kau sudah betul dikongsi sepotong ayat atau bajet sahaja. Manusia bajet!

Habis tu ketawa kenapa masih kuat, padahal engkau kongsikan 'jangan gelak banyak nanti hati mati'. Kenapa makan banyak padahal kau yang kongsi 'hidup daie kena sihat'. Makhluk bajet, wahai dunia saksikan kami.




Tahun 3.

Tahun yang melelahkan. Aku kata aku tak mampu tapi orang kata aku tipu. 'Kau boleh!'

Hidup dengan harapan orang, bukan namanya hidup.




“Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu tentang Aku, sesungguhnya Aku dekat."



Aku tahu Kau dekat.

Percayalah Aku dekat. Lagi dekat dari urat darahmu.



Lagi dekat dari Facebook. Lagi dekat dari Instag.




Aku tahu. Ampunkan aku.


Ampunkan kami.











Irbid.

2224











Sunday, February 3, 2013

warkah buat incik abe.




Dear bro, sorry dont know how to rotate this pic. I was making a poster for you but somehow I deleted it unintentionally. So I have to take another route to wish you birthday before 12 according to Jordan's time. :)

One thing you should know about this blog ; I dont share it for others. So when I do it, thats mean Im making a big sacrifice, so be thankful. hehe.



Im living with people who wish to have a brother, Im living with people who lost their brother. So how can I be ungrateful when I have a bro like you :)



Thanks you for making me laugh. Thank you for fetching me from the tution class. Thank you for accompanying me for shopping. Thank you for fetching me from the bus stop. And the list will goes on.

Loosing our very dear cousin one year ago was a big slap for me. Anything can happen. Nobody can promise as I finish me degree, everybody will still be my side. With that, I appreciate every single second for the time that we had spent together with Emak, Ayah, Kak Ni and Apit. And I will regret every single if I 'go' without having a chance to say, " I feel blessed everyday when I have a bro like you. "

So I do agree with saying, " You will start appreciate the thing that you start loosing ". Realising the bitter fact that I had only 7 days last year to spend with my siblings out of 365, it aint easy. But hey, pressure makes diamond. ( :

Happy birthday brother. Nothing more superior other than the dua from me that goes ; May we meet again in jannah, a land where theres no separation.

Allahumma aslih akhi wa tsabithu bel eman. (O Allah make my brother better day by day and keep him in iman)





I envy the cicak, lipas, anai-anai in our house as they were with you guys when Im still in Jordan. *what kind of analogy is this?*




Thats all from me *walkingawayblushing*


-abaikan grammatical error please-




Monday, January 14, 2013

exam

exam. final. esok. gastrointestinal. doakan. kami.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Kita dan Palestin

Salam, *menulis tatkala 15 minit rehat*



Adik : Kak, saya nak pergi berjihad dekat Palestin sekarang jugak! Takbeer!!

Kak : Allahuakbar... Subuh tadi gajah ke tak?

Adik: Apa kaitan berjihad di Palestin dengan subuh pulak. 

Kak : Hihi. Tahu tak syarat kemasukan jadi tentera Al-Qassam?

Adik : eer, hensem?

Kak : Haish. solat subuh berjemaah di masjid selama 6 bulan tanpa skip.

Adik : Tudien. 

Kak : Lagi satu, exam hari tu dapat berapa?

Adik : Cukup makan jaaa. Lagi 2 merkah nak fail.

Kak : Tudien.


Aneh, kencang sungguh diri ini berbicara tentang jihad qital (jihad yang melibatkan pembunuhan) tapi bab jihad lawan hawa nafsu diri sendiri cukup lemau.

Kuasai bidang yang kamu ceburi. Israel itu tidak takut dengan kata-kata, tapi dia takut dengan kepakaran. Ingat roket Palestin tu buat dengan saliva ka?   *tulis saliva rasa sopan sikit, heh*

Tegakkan tarbiyah dzatiyyah dalam dirimu kerna ia melibatkan pengurusan hawa nafsu. Kalau jihad hawa nafsu belum lulus, gi mana sih mahu ngomong jihad perang der.

Doakan saya, doakan saya jadi manusia yang amalnya mendahului kalam. :)